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Random Top 10 Facts |
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| Fact: |
Q: Why do blondes have little holes
all
over their faces?
A: From eating with forks. |
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| Fact: |
Dad: Why is your January report card
so bad
?
Son: Well, you know how it is. Things are always marked down after
Christmas ! |
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| Fact: |
Q: How many screenwriters
to make
"Titanic" a good movie?
A: One more than they had. |
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| Fact: |
An Italian, a Scotsman, and a Chinese
fellow
are
hired at a construction site.
The foreman points to a huge
pile of sand and says to the Italian guy,
"You're in charge of
sweeping." To
the Scotsman, he says, "You're
in charge of shoveling."
And to the Chinese guy,
"You're in charge
of supplies."
The
foreman then shrugs his beefy shoulders
and says, "Now, I have to
leave for a little while. I expect you guys to make a good
dent in that
pile of sand by the time I get back."
A few hours later when
the foreman returns, he sees that the pile of
sand is still
untouched.
Pointing to the pile of sand, the forman says to the
Italian, "Why
didn't you sweep any of it?"
The Italian replies in
a heavy accent, "I no
gotta broom. You tella
the Chinesea guy he
inna charge of a supplies, but hea
disappeara, and I
coulda no finda
him!"
Then the foreman turns to the
Scotsman and asks, "
Didn't I tell you
to shovel that sand?"
The Scotsman
replies in his heavy brogue, "Aye, ye did, laddie, but I
couldna get
meself a
shovel. Ye left the Chinee in charge of supplies,
but I
couldna find
him!"
The foreman is really angry now and storms off
toward the pile of sand,
looking for the Chinese guy.
Just
then, the Chinese guy springs out from
behind the pile of sand and
yells, "SUPPLIES!" |
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| Fact: |
This fundamentalist Christian
couple felt it
important to own an
equally fundamentally Christian pet. So, they
went shopping. At a
kennel specializing in this particular breed,
they found a
dog they liked
quite a lot. When they asked the dog to
fetch the Bible, he did it in
a
flash. When they instructed him to
look up Psalm 23, he complied equally
fast,
using his paws with
dexterity.
They were impressed, purchased the animal, and
went home
(piously, of
course). That night they had friends over. They were
so
proud of their
new fundamentalist dog and his major skills, they
called the dog and
showed off a little. The friends were impressed,
and asked whether the dog
was
able to do any of the usual dog
tricks, as well. This stopped the
couple cold, as
they hadn't thought
about 'normal' tricks.
"Well," they said, "let's try
this
out."
Once more they called out to the dog, and then clearl
y
pronounced the
command, "Heel!"
Quick as a wink, the dog
jumped up, put his
paw on the man's forehead,
closed his eyes in
concentration, and bowed his head. |
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| Fact: |
What's the difference
between Windows 95 and a virus?
A virus does something. |
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| Fact: |
Q: What goes VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM,
SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH?
A: A blonde going through a flashing red
light. |
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| Fact: |
Q: Why did Clinton choose Canada as
the site
for his summit with
Yeltsin?
A: So he could look up some college
buddies who moved up there during
the war. |
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| Fact: |
This little snail bought a
little car
and took it to the body
shop to have it painted. The service man
asked him exactly what he
wanted done, and the snail said he wanted
little S's
painted all around
and all over his car. The service man
asked him why, and the
snail
answered "When people see me in my car
I want them to say, look at that
S-Car-Go!" |
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