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Random 10 Facts |
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| Fact: |
Knock Knock
Who's there
!
Belle
!
Belle who ?
Belle-t up and open this door ! |
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| Fact: |
The manager of a large city
zoo was
drafting a
letter to order a pair of animals. He sat at his
computer and typed
the following sentence: "I would like to place an
order for two
mongooses, to be
delivered at your earliest convenience."
He stared
at the screen, focusing on
that odd word mongooses. Then he
deleted
the word and added another, so that the
sentence now read: "I
would
like to place an order for two mongeese, to be delivered
at your
earliest convenience."
Again he stared at the screen, this time
focusing on the new word,
which seemed just as odd as the original
one. Finally,
he deleted the whole
sentence and started all over.
"Everyone knows no full-stocked
zoo
should be without a mongoose," he
typed. "Please send us two of
them." |
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| Fact: |
Q: How many folk musicians does it
take to
change a
light bulb?
A: Seven; one to change and the other six to
sing about how good the
old one was. |
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| Fact: |
A blonde, wanting to earn some money,
decided
to hire
herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a
wealthy
neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and
asked the
owner
if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can
paint my porch. How
much will you
charge?"
The blonde said "How
about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her
that
the paint and
other materials that she might need were in the
garage. The man's
wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said
to her
husband, "Does
she realize that the porch goes all the way
around the
house?" The man replied, "She
should, she was standing on it."
A short
time later, the blonde came to the door to
collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered,
"and I
had paint left over, so I gave it two coats." Impressed, the man
reached in his pocket for the $50.
"And by the way," the blonde a
dded,
"it's not a Porch, it's a
Ferrari." |
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| Fact: |
Taking his seat in his chambers, the
judge faced
the opposing lawyers.
"So," he said, "I have been presented, by
both
of you, with a
bribe." Both lawyers squirmed uncomfortably. "You,
attorney Leon,
gave me
$15,000. And you, attorney Campos, gave me
$10,000."
The judge
reached into his pocket and pulled out a
check. He handed it
to Leon ... "Now then,
I'm returning $5,000, and
we're going to
decide this case solely on its
merits." |
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| Fact: |
Q: How many
art directors
does it
take to screw in a light bulb
A: Does it have to be a light bulb?
I've
got this neat candle
holder... |
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| Fact: |
The young accounting graduate,
fresh out of
uni and knowing everything, applied for his first job. The
prospective
employer asked him what starting salary he was looking
for.
"Oh, around $100,000 a year, depending on the benefits
package."
"Well, how does this sound? Five weeks annual leave, 22.5%
superannuation, paid expenses to overseas conferences every year, home
telephone
reimbursed and a company car replaced every 20,000
kilometres, say a
Mercedes
convertible."
The graduate sat up straight
and tried not to look excited. "Wow.
Are
you
kidding?"
"Yeah. But you started it." |
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| Fact: |
A famous professor of
surgery
died
and went to heaven. At the pearly gate he was asked by the
gatekeeper: 'Have you ever committed a sin you truly regret?' 'Yes,' the
professor ansvered. 'When I was a young candidate at the hospital of
Saint
Lucas, we played soccer against at team from the Community
Hospital,
and I scored a
goal, which was off-side. But the referee
did not se it
so, and the goal won us the
match. I regret that now.'
'Well,' said
the gatekeeper. 'That is a very minor
sin. You may
enter.' 'Thank
you very much, Saint Peter,' the professor
ansvered. 'Im am not Saint
Peter,' said the gatekeeper. 'He is having
his
lunchbreak. I am Saint
Lucas.' |
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| Fact: |
Someone -- always a man
-- always
asks, "does the
ship run on generators?" The Cruise Director
usually
tells them, "No, we just have a very long power line
running
to the
mainland." |
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