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Rated Facts |
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| Fact: |
Dad: Don't be
selfish. Let
your brother use the sled half the time.
Son: I do, Dad. I use it
going
down the hill and he gets to use it
coming up! |
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Random 10 Facts |
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| Fact: |
Why were the hens lying on their backs
with
their legs in the air ?
Because eggs were going up ! |
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| Fact: |
Q: What's the difference between
a blonde
and a brick?
A: When you lay a brick it doesn't follow you
around for two weeks
whining. |
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| Fact: |
Q: What is the difference between
Bill Clinton
and Jimmy Carter?
A: Jimmy Carter waited until after the
inauguration to break his
promises. |
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| Fact: |
Q: Why did Clinton waffle on
military
action in Bosnia?
A: His area of expertise is dodging armed conflict. |
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| Fact: |
Mom: Fred, there were two chocolate
cakes in the
larder yesterday, and now there's only one. Why?
Fred: I
don't know. It must have been so dark I didn't see the other
one. |
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| Fact: |
Mama Pig has a great, new kitchen
appliance
that lets her prepare meals ahead.
It's called a garbage
compactor. |
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| Fact: |
After a venerable career of
endless,
stellar successes the greatest director who ever lived is in his prime
and
preparing for his most ambitious project ever when he
unexpectedly dies
and is called home to heaven. St. Peter meets him at the
gate.
"So sorry
about your untimely death," he tells the
director. "But
God himself has called you
home. You see, God wants you to
direct a movie
for Him."
The great man is
humbled, "God
wants ME to direct a film?"
"Yes," St. Peter tells him. "And
we've arranged to have the best of
everything made available to you.
For
example, the script is by William
Shakespeare."
The
director is stunned, "An
original screenplay by William
Shakespeare?"
"Yes," St. Peter assures him,
"And it's his greatest work ever."
"Wow!" says the Director, awe struck.
"Your Production
Designer will be Michaelangelo. We've got Leonardo
Da
Vinci d
oing the sets, your musical score will be an original work by
Wolfgang
Amadeus Mozart and your cast includes a young Laurence Olivier
and the greatest
actors of all time in supporting roles."
The
Director can't believe it. "This
is incredible," he says. "This
will be the greatest movie ever?"
St. Peter
kind of shuffles his
feet. "Well," he says, "we do have
one tiny little problem."
"Problem?" says the director. "What kind of a problem?"
St.
Peter
puts his arm around the director's shoulder, "Ya see," he
whispers, "God's got
this girlfriend..." |
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| Fact: |
Little Monster: I hate my
teacher.
Mother
Monster: Well just eat your salad up then dear! |
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