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| Fact: |
yo
mama's teeth so yellow that
when she
smiles everyone sings, "i got
sunshine on a cloudy day"..... |
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| Fact: |
Yo mama is so fat that she needs a
book
mark to keep track of all her chin rolls! |
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| Fact: |
Fred's class was taken to the Natural
History
Museum in New York. "Did you enjoy yourself?" asked her mother when
she
got home.
"Oh, yes," replied Fred. "But it was funny going to
a dead
zoo." |
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| Fact: |
Fred was definitely more than a bit
dumb; when his
pal asked him how he
had enjoyed his day at the zoo, he replied,
"it was a total con! I saw
a sign that said To The Monkeys, so I
followed it and
saw the monkeys.
Then I saw another sign that said To
The Bears, so I followed that
and
saw the bears. But when I followed
a sign that said To the Exit, I
found
myself out on the street." |
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| Fact: |
There was this truck driver who had to
deliver
500 penguins to the state zoo. As he was driving his truck
through
the desert, his truck breaks down. After about 3 hours, he waves
another truck
down and offers the driver $500 to take these penguins to
the state zoo for
him.
The next day the original truck driver
arrives in town and sees the new
truck driver crossing the road
with 500 penguins walking in single file
behind
him.
The
original truck driver jumps out of his truck and asks, "What's
going on?
I gave you $500 to take these penguins to the zoo!"
The new
truck driver responds, "I did take them to the zoo. And I had
enough
money left
over so now we're going to see a movie." |
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| Fact: |
The
Crist family worked at a zoo.
Each year
they predicted the general luck and
overall mood of the year by
watching the the gnu. If the gnu's ears
were forward, that meant a
successful,
joyous year was almost certain to
happen. But if his ears
were laid back flat
against his head, it meant
that an unlucky or
very unhappy year was sure to come.
One year it was
young Mary's
turn to "survey" the animal and come up with the
prediction. It was
her first time solo, and in her excitement, she forgot to
take the
key to the cage. She was late in coming to check on the gnu.
Well,
she saw the wrong ear position and predicted a bad year, when in
fact
it was
quite good. To explain the error, the local newspaper ran
the following headline a
year later: MARY CRIST MISSES AN HAPPY GNU'S
EAR! |
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| Fact: |
A father and his small son were standing
in front
of the tiger's
cage at the zoo.
Father was explaining how
ferocious and strong tigers are and junior
was taking it all in
with a serious
expression.
Dad," the boy said finally, "if the
tiger got out of his cage and
ate
you up ..."
"Yes, son?" the
father said expectantly.
"What bus
should I take home?" the boy
finished. |
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| Fact: |
Starting his new job at the zoo, the
eager young
zoo keeper
asked the Head keeper what he should do for his first task.
"Go and
clean out the aquarium" he was told.
Arriving at the aquarium, he
discovered that all the fish were dead. He
rushed back to the head
keeper and
asked what he should do. "Throw
them to the lions" said
the head keeper, "the lions
will eat anything".
So the young keeper
returned to the aquarium, picked up all the
dead
fish and threw
them into the lion's cage. That done, he returned and
asked
what he
should do now.
He was instructed to go and clean out the ape house.
Off
he went and
started cleaning. He was shocked to discover dead
chimpanzees in the
cage, and rushed back for instructions. "Dont
worry" said the head
keeper, "just
throw them to the lions, the lions
will eat anything". So the
young man returns to
the ape house
and throws the dead animals into the
lions cage.
Returning
again for instructions, he is told to go along and help clean
up the
insect
house. Busy cleaning out one off the exotic hives, he
notices
that all the bees have
died.
"I know what to do", he thinks to
himself "I'll throw them all to
the
lions, as the lions will eat
anything", whereupon he brushes them
all up and throws
them into the
lion cage. The next day, the zoo obtains
a new lioness. The lioness is
walking around the new cage for the first
time, and starts asking
the other
lions what things are like here.
"Hows the
accommodation?", she asks. "Fine" comes
the reply from one
lion. "And whats the
food like?" she asks.
"Not bad" replies
another, "yesterday, we had
fish, chimps and mushy
bees". |
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| Fact: |
My wife asked me to take her to the zoo
the other
day. I
said, "If you want people to see you they can come here and
do
it!" |
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| Fact: |
"Hey, Pop," pleaded Angelo, "can I go to
the zoo
to see the monkeys?"
"What's the matter with you?" asked his
father.
"Why would you wanna go see the monkeys when your Aunt
Maud is
here?" |
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