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| Fact: |
"Lie flat on your backs, class, and circle
your feet in the air as if you were riding your bikes," said the gym
teacher.
"Fred! What are you doing? Move your feet, boy."
"I'm freewheeling, sir." |
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| Fact: |
Did you hear about the vampire bicycle
that
went round biting people's arms off?
It was a vicious cycle. |
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| Fact: |
My dog is a nuisance.
He chases everyone on
a bicycle.
What can I do?
Take his bike away. |
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| Fact: |
Two biologists are in the field following the
tracks of a radio-collared grizzly bear. All of a sudden, the bear
crashes out of the brush and heads right for them. They scramble up
the
nearest tree, but the bear starts climbing up the tree after
them. The
first biologist starts taking off his heavy leather hiking
boots and pulls
a pair of sleek running shoes from his back-pack.
The second biologist
gives him a puzzled look and says, "What in the
world are you doing?"
He replies, "I figure when the bear gets close
to us, we'll jump down
and make a run for it."
The second
guy says, "Are you crazy? We both know you can't outrun a
full-grown grizzly bear."
The first guy says, "I don't have to outrun
the bear, I only have to
outrun you!" |
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| Fact: |
A boy was assigned a paper on childbirth and
asked his
mother, "How was I born?"
"Well honey..." said the
slightly prudish mother, "the stork brought
you to us."
"Oh," said
the boy, "and how did you and daddy get born?"
"Oh, the stork brought
us too."
"Well how were grandpa and grandma born?" the boy
persisted.
"Well darling, the stork brought them too!" said the mother, by
now
starting to squirm a little.
Several days later, the boy
handed in his paper to the teacher who read
with confusion the
opening sentence: "This report has been very
difficult to write due to
the fact that there hasn't been a natural
childbirth in my family
for three generations." |
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| Fact: |
How do you eat a DNA
spaghetti?
With a
replication fork (you can also use your zinc fingers...) |
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| Fact: |
A
biologist was interested in studying how
far bullfrogs can jump. He
brought a bullfrog into his laboratory,
set it down, and commanded, "Jump,
frog, jump!"
The frog jumped
across the room.
The biologist measured the distance, then noted in
his journal, "Frog
with four legs jumped eight feet."
Then
he cut the frog's front legs off. Again he ordered, "Jump, frog,
jump!"
The frog struggled a moment, then jumped a few feet.
After
measuring the distance, the biologist noted in his journal,
"Frog
with two legs jumped three feet."
Next, the biologist cut off the
frog's back legs. Once more, he
shouted, "Jump, frog,
jump!"
The frog just lay there.
"Jump, frog, jump!" the biologist
repeated.
Nothing.
The biologist noted in his journal, "Frog with no legs -
lost its
hearing." |
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| Fact: |
A boy frog telephones the Psychic Hotline and
his Personal
Psychic Advisor tells him: "You are going to meet a
beautiful young girl
who will want to know everything about
you."
The frog is thrilled, "This is great! Will I meet her at a
party?"
"No," says his Advisor, "in her biology class." |
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| Fact: |
A man with a talking parrot is getting married. On
the day of the wedding he says to the parrot "Now look here, I know
you are always sat in that window sticking your beak in, when me
and my
new wife get back from the wedding I want you to turn round
and and no
matter what you hear I do not want you to turn back or
I'll break your
neck, do you understand?" The parrot reluctantly
agrees.
On returning from the wedding the parrot turns round as
instructed, and
behind him the bride and groom start to pack for the
honeymoon. The
wife however has packed too much and they can't get
the case closed.
"Get on top and sit on it baby!" Says the man the
woman does so and
grunts and moans but can't shut the case. "You
get on top baby it might be
better" Says the wife, so the man grunts
and groans and tries his best
but still cant shut the
case.
After a little thought the man says "Ok we'll both get on top see
if
that's any better!" The parrot turns round and says "Neck or
no neck
I have to see this!" |
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