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| Fact: |
A murderer, sitting in the electric
chair, was
about to be
executed.
"Have you any last requests? asked the
chaplain.
"Yes," replied the murderer. "Will you hold my
hand?" |
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| Fact: |
Two men,
sentenced to die in the
electric
chair on the same day were led down to
the room in which they would
meet their maker. The priest had given the
last rites, the formal
speech had
been given by the warden, and a final
prayer had been
said among the participants.
The Warden, turning to the
first man,
solemnly asked, "Son, do you have a last
request?" To
which the man
replied, "Yes sir, I do. I love dance music. Could you
please play
The Macarena for me one last time?"
"Certainly," replied the
warden. He turned to the other man and
asked, "Well, what about you,
son? What
is your final request?"
"Please," said the condemned
man, "kill me first." |
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| Fact: |
A prisoner at
the Edmonton Max
started
training a large fly to do tricks.
For years, for thousands of
hours,
he worked with the insect. It
learned to walk across a miniature
high wire, ride a
tiny one-wheel bike,
balance on a pair of stilts
and sing songs from PHANTOM OF THE
OPERA.
"When you and I get
out of here," the jailbird said to the fly.
"we're going to tour
the nightspots and make a fortune."
Finally the day
arrived. Fly
safely tucked away in his pocket, (inside
its matchbox home), the
ex-con made his way to a bar to celebrate.
At the bar, he
brought out his
trick fly. On cue, it started
moonwalking. "What about
this fly, eh?" he said to the
bartender.
In one swift motion, the
bartender reached for his copy of the
newspaper THE EDMONTON SUN,
rolled it up and squished the fly with a mighty
swipe.
"Glad
you saw it," muttered the bartender. "Blasted things are
eve
rywhere." |
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| Fact: |
Why do they put a suicide watch on
death row
prisoners? Why
would you care if a man you're planning to kill
anyway, kills himself?
Does it spoil the fun?
I also think
about the
death row prisoner in Texas who, on the day
before his
execution, managed to take a
drug overdose. They rushed him to a
hospital, saved his life, then brought him back
to prison and killed
him.
Apparently, just to anger him. |
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| Fact: |
Q. What do you have when only one line
dancer
comes to your party?
A. A One Liner! |
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| Fact: |
Q. What do you call two line dancers
doing the
dance
Shoot the Rooster?
A. A Pair of Shoot (parachute) |
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| Fact: |
Andy: "Doc, I had the worst dream of my
life last
night. I
dreamed I was with twelve of the most beautiful chorus
girls
in the
world. Blondes, brunettes, redheads, all dancing in a
row."
Doctor: "Hold
it, Andy. That doesn't sound so terrible."
Andy: Oh yeah? In the dream, I was the
third girl from the end." |
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| Fact: |
A woman goes into the local
newspaper
office to see that the obituary for her recently deceased husband is
published. After
the editor informs her that the fee for the
obituary is
50
cents a word, she pauses, reflects and then says, "Well,
then,
let it read
'Fred Brown died'."
Confounded at the
woman's thrift, the editor stammers that
there
is a 7-word minimum for
all obituaries. The woman pauses again,
counts on
her fingers and
replies, "In that case, 'Fred Brown
died: 1983 Pick-up for
sale'." |
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